Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
