You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
