by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
