And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
