I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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