it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
