I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Green mimosas i think yes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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