we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
