even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
pop tarts are not kleenex
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
