You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
