Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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