why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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