i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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