Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
