Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
