somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize