Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
