Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
