I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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