Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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