Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
