She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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