He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
