Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
