Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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