"it" just moved
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
