Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
