ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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