You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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