sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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