he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it hurts more in the daytime
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
