idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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