come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
