So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
