we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
