He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
