Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
