i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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