I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
