addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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