If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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