Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
