that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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