Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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