Are we in a gay sports bar?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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