Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
3pm strippers are depressing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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