Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
