As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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