You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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