yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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