sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You're so nebulous sometimes
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize