Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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