it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
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never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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