I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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