Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
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Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
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Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.