There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?