Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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