Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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