so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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