I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
