Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
did i just pee glitter
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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