her vagina looked like bernie madoff
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
