Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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