He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
