I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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