Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
